Encourage Mental Health

This post includes the text and video of the speech I gave at the 2016 YWCA Tribute to Women Gala where I was honored with the Next Generation Award. Enjoy! Speech given: 10/21/16 YouTube video of my speech at 2016 YWCA Tribute to Women Gala I feel so honored to be celebrating with such an outstanding group of people tonight. I'd like to thank the women of the YWCA for all they do to empower women and girls to be the best they can be and to work hard to make a difference. Thank you for organizing this inspiring evening and bringing the community together.  Today I've been reflecting on how I got to this point, where I feel comfortable sharing my obstacles to encourage others. I've realized that it's the people in my life and what they've taught me about giving, courage, and loving unconditionally that has shaped who I am and what I hope for the future. Some of the most caring and dedicated individuals I've met on my journey are the mental hea...

In May of 2013, right after I turned 21, I suddenly developed a severe anxiety disorder that made it almost impossible for me to go out in public, drive, or stay home alone. By December of that year, I had spent almost 3 months total in different psychiatric hospitals. I had gained nearly 40 pounds, watched my long term relationship end, and had to painfully withdraw from my senior year at SUNY New Paltz.  For more than a year after my last hospital stay, I spent my days in big sweatshirts and doctors appointments. When I went out, I'd have to be so medicated that I would sometimes fall asleep in restaurants or at my little sister's basketball games. I watched as my friends got engaged as graduated college. I would think over and over about why this happened to me. Why were my dreams for my future ripped away from me? My life completely changed the day my mom learned about psychiatric service dogs. They could learn tasks to help people with anxiety disorders like mine live more...

No amount of coming of age books, romantic comedies, or magazine articles about dating and relationships could have prepared me for how my life as a 20-something would actually turn out. At 21, I developed a severe anxiety disorder. Within 6 months, I was hospitalized 5 times, faced countless medication changes and misdiagnoses, and gained 40 pounds. As 2013 ended, so did my long-term relationship. For over 2 years, I healed my mind and body with therapy, medication, and the gym. Every second I spent working on my mental and physical health was paying off, and each day I realized my inner-strength and what kind of woman I wanted to be. By the time I turned 24 this year, I knew that I was finally in a place where a relationship would add to my happiness instead of having my happiness depend on a relationship. I was ready to date again, and I didn’t know what to expect. Here are the 5 things I have learned so far about dating with a mental illness: 1. Love yourself first: ...

After a year and a half of hospitalizations, misdiagnoses, countless medication changes, and many unanswered questions, I was fortunate enough to get an evaluation appointment with one of the best mental health specialists in the country. My parents and I drove 6 hours south to meet this doctor to hear his opinions on my diagnosis and future treatment. The evaluation process took more than 5 hours. At the end of the day, the doctor said, “There is no need for her to be on antipsychotic medication because she actually has a severe anxiety disorder.” My parents were so happy to hear this prognosis, and everything the doctor explained about the onset, symptoms, and reactions I had to medications made sense. At the time, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that I had an anxiety disorder because I didn’t understand how the severity of what I was going through was a term I heard people say every day. Many times people use the word anxiety when they are describing feeling stressed...

As someone who writes and speaks openly about serious mental health issues and my experience, I do get asked many questions. Some of the questions are constructive, like how to find help or support and other questions are asked about how I deal with mental illness. Occassionally, I get asked very personal questions, and I try my best to keep boundries. I understand that answering questions will lead to a better understanding about mental illness which will end the stigma. Of the hundreds of questions I've been asked, one situation stands out that gave me clarity to how a lot of people view mental illness. I was away at a workshop where I had read my story and helped the audience learn the storytelling process. At the end of the day, after speaking with many people interested in mental health, a man came up to me as I was getting my things together to head back to the hotel. I assumed it was just someone saying that he liked the workshop or the piece I read. In...

Last week, I celebrated my 24th birthday! I have spent a lot of time over the past few days reflecting on the past year. At this time last year, I was having a difficult time accepting myself. Going back to school didn't go as I had planned, I was 20 pounds heavier, it was the first birthday being single since I was in high school, and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. I dreaded going to local stores and restaurants because I was afraid I would run into someone I knew from the past, and I wouldn't know what to say if they asked what I've been up to. I'm glad that I stayed hopeful, because 23 ended up being the most exciting and transforming year of my life. It was the year that I took the most chances, and learned the most about myself and the world around me. Here are the 8 most important lessons I learned as a 23-year-old: (Warning: Some of these are extremely cliché but still very true.) 1. I would much rather be single than be in the wrong rel...

I'm sitting in my hotel room in Buffalo and trying to process all that has happened on my short trip. Several weeks ago, I had been asked by Eva and Sari, the directors of the TMI Project, to join them on a trip to Buffalo to read my piece about my journey with mental illness at their writing workshop. Getting the chance to travel AND discuss mental illness? I responded "yes" just nanoseconds after I got the email. My mom and I took the nearly 7-hour train ride, and I got to see Western New York for the first time. Buffalo has been even more amazing than I thought it would be. This morning, I met up with the two TMI Project directors and the other readers, Ray and Valerie. We were picked up by members of The Service Collaborative of Western New York (Thank you Hannah!) and all headed to the University at Buffalo for the workshop. This specific TMI workshop was for several groups, including AmeriCorps. In all, there were approximately 150 people, mostly young...