Encourage Mental Health

On New Year's Eve 2015, I remember saying, “Bring it on 2016.” I had no idea at the time that 2016 would be the most incredible year of my life. In no way would I like to use this post to brag, but I would like to use my experiences to provide hope to others and to let people know that each day provides new opportunities. After sharing my story through the TMI Project in Dec. 2015, I began writing and sharing more about my battle with mental illness. I started writing more about my personal struggles on the Facebook page I had for my psychiatric service dog in training, Joey, and it now has over 3,200 followers. Then I felt comfortable enough to start my own mental health blog where I discuss issues people with mental illness face. I also opened up about some of the more difficult parts of my journey like my hospitalizations. Letting people into my life in this way opened the doors to my future. I quickly fell in love with writing, and it built my confidence knowing that I c...

During the periods of my life when I have struggled the most with my mental illness, I've always had a strong and devoted support system who have been there to encourage me and remind me that I'm loved and that I will get through the difficult times. Not everyone dealing with mental illness has that same level of support, and the holiday season can make them feel more isolated. This year, The Cassie Cares Project (made up of me and my friends) wants to give the community and people online the chance to provide some much needed kindness to some people in Ulster County in NY who are battling mental illness. We will be making holiday cards with encouraging messages inside to distribute to the people involved with MHA of Ulster County. We want these messages to come from the community or anyone who has some kind words to share. This is a way you can directly brighten someone's holiday. Below are some starters you can use (as many as you choose) to share a nice message of an...

I love November because I get to see and hear about what people are thankful for in their lives. The few weeks leading up to Thanksgiving remind people what is truly important to them. This encourages me to reflect on what and who I have in my life rather than dwell on my illness. I’m thankful for many things: I have a place to live, clean water to drink, and food in the fridge. But what I’m most thankful for is my amazing support system. There is no material possession that compares to love and encouragement from those who care about you. I have my service dog Joey, my family, my friends, my mental health workers, and my community. I also have an extended support system of   people I’ve met through social media pages. Even on my difficult days, I know that there are people who believe in me and will be there for me. Many people with mental illness don’t have strong support systems; they often have to fight the battle on their own. I've seen people in the h...

This post includes the text and video of the speech I gave at the 2016 YWCA Tribute to Women Gala where I was honored with the Next Generation Award. Enjoy! Speech given: 10/21/16 YouTube video of my speech at 2016 YWCA Tribute to Women Gala I feel so honored to be celebrating with such an outstanding group of people tonight. I'd like to thank the women of the YWCA for all they do to empower women and girls to be the best they can be and to work hard to make a difference. Thank you for organizing this inspiring evening and bringing the community together.  Today I've been reflecting on how I got to this point, where I feel comfortable sharing my obstacles to encourage others. I've realized that it's the people in my life and what they've taught me about giving, courage, and loving unconditionally that has shaped who I am and what I hope for the future. Some of the most caring and dedicated individuals I've met on my journey are the mental hea...

In May of 2013, right after I turned 21, I suddenly developed a severe anxiety disorder that made it almost impossible for me to go out in public, drive, or stay home alone. By December of that year, I had spent almost 3 months total in different psychiatric hospitals. I had gained nearly 40 pounds, watched my long term relationship end, and had to painfully withdraw from my senior year at SUNY New Paltz.  For more than a year after my last hospital stay, I spent my days in big sweatshirts and doctors appointments. When I went out, I'd have to be so medicated that I would sometimes fall asleep in restaurants or at my little sister's basketball games. I watched as my friends got engaged as graduated college. I would think over and over about why this happened to me. Why were my dreams for my future ripped away from me? My life completely changed the day my mom learned about psychiatric service dogs. They could learn tasks to help people with anxiety disorders like mine live more...

No amount of coming of age books, romantic comedies, or magazine articles about dating and relationships could have prepared me for how my life as a 20-something would actually turn out. At 21, I developed a severe anxiety disorder. Within 6 months, I was hospitalized 5 times, faced countless medication changes and misdiagnoses, and gained 40 pounds. As 2013 ended, so did my long-term relationship. For over 2 years, I healed my mind and body with therapy, medication, and the gym. Every second I spent working on my mental and physical health was paying off, and each day I realized my inner-strength and what kind of woman I wanted to be. By the time I turned 24 this year, I knew that I was finally in a place where a relationship would add to my happiness instead of having my happiness depend on a relationship. I was ready to date again, and I didn’t know what to expect. Here are the 5 things I have learned so far about dating with a mental illness: 1. Love yourself first: ...

After a year and a half of hospitalizations, misdiagnoses, countless medication changes, and many unanswered questions, I was fortunate enough to get an evaluation appointment with one of the best mental health specialists in the country. My parents and I drove 6 hours south to meet this doctor to hear his opinions on my diagnosis and future treatment. The evaluation process took more than 5 hours. At the end of the day, the doctor said, “There is no need for her to be on antipsychotic medication because she actually has a severe anxiety disorder.” My parents were so happy to hear this prognosis, and everything the doctor explained about the onset, symptoms, and reactions I had to medications made sense. At the time, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that I had an anxiety disorder because I didn’t understand how the severity of what I was going through was a term I heard people say every day. Many times people use the word anxiety when they are describing feeling stressed...

As someone who writes and speaks openly about serious mental health issues and my experience, I do get asked many questions. Some of the questions are constructive, like how to find help or support and other questions are asked about how I deal with mental illness. Occassionally, I get asked very personal questions, and I try my best to keep boundries. I understand that answering questions will lead to a better understanding about mental illness which will end the stigma. Of the hundreds of questions I've been asked, one situation stands out that gave me clarity to how a lot of people view mental illness. I was away at a workshop where I had read my story and helped the audience learn the storytelling process. At the end of the day, after speaking with many people interested in mental health, a man came up to me as I was getting my things together to head back to the hotel. I assumed it was just someone saying that he liked the workshop or the piece I read. In...

Last week, I celebrated my 24th birthday! I have spent a lot of time over the past few days reflecting on the past year. At this time last year, I was having a difficult time accepting myself. Going back to school didn't go as I had planned, I was 20 pounds heavier, it was the first birthday being single since I was in high school, and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. I dreaded going to local stores and restaurants because I was afraid I would run into someone I knew from the past, and I wouldn't know what to say if they asked what I've been up to. I'm glad that I stayed hopeful, because 23 ended up being the most exciting and transforming year of my life. It was the year that I took the most chances, and learned the most about myself and the world around me. Here are the 8 most important lessons I learned as a 23-year-old: (Warning: Some of these are extremely cliché but still very true.) 1. I would much rather be single than be in the wrong rel...

I'm sitting in my hotel room in Buffalo and trying to process all that has happened on my short trip. Several weeks ago, I had been asked by Eva and Sari, the directors of the TMI Project, to join them on a trip to Buffalo to read my piece about my journey with mental illness at their writing workshop. Getting the chance to travel AND discuss mental illness? I responded "yes" just nanoseconds after I got the email. My mom and I took the nearly 7-hour train ride, and I got to see Western New York for the first time. Buffalo has been even more amazing than I thought it would be. This morning, I met up with the two TMI Project directors and the other readers, Ray and Valerie. We were picked up by members of The Service Collaborative of Western New York (Thank you Hannah!) and all headed to the University at Buffalo for the workshop. This specific TMI workshop was for several groups, including AmeriCorps. In all, there were approximately 150 people, mostly young...

A major part of my mental health journey occurred between June and December of 2013. During this time, I was hospitalized 5 times, spending nearly 3 months total in the hospital. Since my psychiatric disorder was so sudden and severe, I had to have multiple tests done, medication adjustments, and diagnostic evaluations. For a long time, I kept that part of my story private. Only my close friends, close family, and therapists knew. I thought if people found out, they would make judgments, avoid speaking to me, or change their minds about the kind of person I am. I joined a writing group in the fall of 2015 called the TMI Project where we wrote about the stories in our lives that we were afraid to tell. It was the first time I was opening up to people about the subject. The night before the public reading of our pieces, I got really nervous. I said to my mom, "People might think I'm a loser." She replied, "Allie, people will think you're a hero." From that m...

Before mental illness, I had no problem speaking up for myself or for a loved one if I felt we were being mistreated. For the past couple years, I had lost that confidence. Last Friday, I surprised myself when I felt some of that fire coming back. My service dog Joey and I had just left therapy and were meeting my cousin Ellen for lunch at a fast food restaurant that we go to often. Fast food restaurants tend to be a triggering place for me. Joey had been there before, more than 5 times, and he knew exactly what to do; when we picked out our table, he quietly tucked under the table at my feet. As I was taking out my wallet, the manager of the restaurant approached us. I wasn't alarmed or suspicious because people come up to compliment Joey whenever we are out. To my surprise, he asked if he could see Joey's service dog certification. I was taken off guard but explained that service dogs don't have a certification. Service dogs are trained to do tasks catered to their ha...

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines stigma as, “a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.” For those living with mental illness, stigma is a part of everyday life.   The myths and stereotypes associated with mental health issues are harmful and create barriers in virtually every aspect of society. Stigma generates problems for one’s social life, education, professional life, medical treatment, and finances. This discrimination is based on false beliefs society has about those with psychiatric disorders. When people become more educated about mental illness, stigma will diminish. Throughout my battle with mental illness, I’ve received some alarming comments and questions, sadly some even from medical professionals: “You don’t look like someone with mental illness.” “Are you just hormonal?”   “Is it boyfriend problems?” “Just stop worrying so much.” “Do you have an addiction problem?” “I’d...

"Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another." -Alfred Adler One of the most valuable traits a person can have is empathy. Being able to share and understand in another's feelings can have powerful effects. When you can feel what he or she feels, it leads to a having a better grasp on what that person is going through. This makes it easier to help, support, or encourage a person going through a hard time or a person who is sharing their happiness. If you have ever watched a movie with me, you'd know that 99% of the time, I cry at the end. Whether they are tears of sorrow after Titanic or tears of joy at the end of Babe, movies always make me emotional. My ability to empathize has made me who I am. I'm a person my friends go to with problems or conflicts. I don't just listen to what they are saying; I give advice because I can feel their pain or anger. In college, I had a job as a ...

"A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there." -Unknown I found this quote yesterday and immediately loved it. Right now, my life is about pushing myself and working hard to achieve my dreams. Since my mental health has been in a good state recently, I feel that I'm able to venture outside my comfort zone. On the other hand, when my mental health isn't as stable, it is best for me to stay inside my comfort zone and put my health over my work. I instead need to avoid stressful or triggering situations. I feel that people with mental health issues need to have days when they can recover and recharge. It's important to be able to identify these days because taking a break when they need it will help them in the long-run: mentally, emotionally, and physically. I reflected on March, when my mental health was generally stable and in a good state. I worked hard and really pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, and it resulted in being offered s...

Although I don't have bipolar disorder, I still feel a strong connection to World Bipolar Day. Some of the most incredible people I've met on my journey with mental health issues are fighting bipolar disorder. When I was hospitalized in Boston, I had never been so far away from family and friends. The wing of the hospital I was placed on specialized in treating bipolar disorder, so most of the people I associated with were bipolar. Whether they were in a manic or depressive state, they were kind, caring, and comforting. From having deep conversations about life to just playing cards, they became my friends. They were the ones who helped me realize that having a mental illness didn't have to change who I was as a person, and they taught me that I had nothing to be ashamed of. Today, I'm thinking of them and all they did for me. My experiences living with mental illness have been eye-opening. I've learned so much about myself, others with mental illness, and how peo...

My family has lived in our old farm house for 13 years, since I was 10. Since then, I've had the same pink walls with a butterfly border and the same hot pink furniture. My bulletin board was filled with old pictures, and I still had all of the books I needed in college. A few days ago, I realized that I was finally feeling mentally strong enough to take on the project of transforming my bedroom. A big motivator for me was seeing my close friends moving into houses and apartments. I have accepted that I'm not ready to live on my own yet, but I was inspired to make a change. My bedroom can serve different purposes: a place for sleeping, an area I could relax and unwind, and somewhere I could use as an "office" for writing and corresponding. I could create a space where I would feel more independent, but I would also be able to have the support from my family. Once I began organizing and going through my old things, I realized how far I've ...

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell When I came across this quote, I wished that I had heard it earlier. I was one year away from completing my teaching degree to be a high school social studies teacher. When I became mentally ill, I was admitted to a hospital. I remember sitting with a therapist and crying the day I had to withdraw from the classes I had scheduled for the first semester of my Senior year. It was devastating for me, knowing that I wouldn't be graduating with my friends. When I was in a better mental state, I tried going back to college. I got through two classes, but I didn't have the same passion for school, focus, or ability to juggle different assignments. I went back for a third class, but I knew that it would be extremely difficult to maintain my mental health and handle the demands of the class. I accepted that my mental health is more important than a de...

Mental health issues do not discriminate. They are seen in any gender, ethnicity, religion, age, socioeconomic status, or any other life category. The media tends to portray people with mental illness as either homeless and/or having an extremely high IQ. This is not the case. Throughout my journey with mental illness, I have encountered people from all walks of life. While I have met some who would fit society’s perception of someone with a psychiatric disorder, the majority of people break the stereotype. It can happen to anyone, and I believe that I am a good example. I had always been a slightly nervous person, but it never got in the way of being able to function or live the way I wanted. I didn’t have a traumatic experience, and had never touched drugs or alcohol. Music and performance were important parts of my life; I had been singing and dancing for as long as I could remember. High school was a great experience for me. I was a varsity cheerleader, the lead in my school...

I have been pretty sick for the past few days, and it is really taking a toll on my mental health. When the body is hard at work fighting a physical illness, it becomes more difficult to keep psychiatric illness in check. For me, my anxiety goes through the roof. I have serious anxiety issues when it comes to my health, so when I'm not feeling well, I tend to think that I have every illness. If I see or hear about a certain illness, I'm sure that is what is wrong with me. That leads me to develop more tension and stress in my body, which makes me feel sicker, which ends up making me more nervous. It is a horrible vicious cycle. People throw around the term hypochondria all the time, but unless you have to deal with it on a personal level, you wouldn't understand how detrimental it is. Hypochondria is not the same as being over-dramatic. Be more understanding instead of critical. -Allie

I often get told that mental illness doesn't change who I am... but I disagree. Mental illness has made me more caring, understanding, open-minded, selfless, compassionate, and enlightened. It has put things into perspective for me. I can now see what is important in life. My goals are now aimed at directly helping others. I've learned about the world and those around me. I would've never known my strength if I hadn't been through my struggles. Mental illness did change me. It made me a better person, and put me on the path I was meant to be on. Don't let a diagnosis ruin your life, you never know what you will learn about yourself. "Where there is no struggle, there is no strength..." -Oprah Winfrey

Personally, I have felt uncomfortable whenever the topic of my diagnosis comes up in conversation. People ask me, "What do you have?" I honestly don't have a definite diagnosis. I've received mixed opinions from even the most qualified mental health professionals in the country. They seem to agree that I have traits from different disorders, but I don't show all the symptoms for one specific disorder. Unfortunately, this is something I have struggled with; I've wanted so desperately to have a definition of what was going on with me and to feel like I had a place and a voice in the realm of mental health. I thought that I would be able to identify myself if I could identify my mental illness. I am now learning to accept the fact that I don't have a distinct diagnosis. It does not invalidate my psychiatric disorder, and it doesn't mean that I don't have a voice. Some people have symptoms that fit the "textbook definition" of a specific ...

I'm not a mental health professional, but I'm a mental health warrior. Those who live with mental illness are warriors. I know what it is like to fight everyday. I created this page, and other social media pages, to bring awareness to what it is like living with a psychiatric disorder. Whether I'm giving some insight to issues, sharing a quote or picture that touched me, or telling parts of my personal journey, everything will be honest and open. Some future topics will include: my experience with mental illness, hospitals and hospitalizations, therapeutic writing, public speaking, psychiatric service dogs, medications, portrayals of mental illness in the media, and many more... Right now, I am in a place where I feel as if I can help people grasp the realities of what life is like for a person living with mental illness. I have good days and bad days, but I'm never giving up. Please join me on my journey toward wellness and fighting stigma! "Life is tough, ...